AFTER 28 moderately unhealthy years on this planet, I'm yet to have a heart attack, but I think I came pretty close on Wednesday. I foolishly stayed to the bitter end of the 0-3 thumpathon, if only to give Barnsley's FA Cup heroes a standing ovation, when a shooting pain rocketed through my chest.

Then as I was scuttling out of The Rookery spitting all kinds of F, B, and C words about the 'Orns' failure to snatch top spot. The gripping sting literally stopped me in my tracks, and roar the confusing phrase, "AUGHUHGHG GOD!" to anyone who happened to be near me.

At that painful moment I thought Watford FC had finally killed me. The 'Orns had done me in with the stress of their inability to do things the easy way.

I always thought following Watford would be the death of me in the end, but I'd kind of envisioned it would be a stroke from the stress of the 2058/59 season under the management of Lloyd Doyley. I am surely too young to die before even our trip to Blackpool?

The Hornets and I have, like everyone, had our painful moments before (relegations and defeats to L*ton,) but this pain was up there with the worst.

Luckily (or perchance unluckily considering West Brom are coming up at the weekend) I wasn't dying on this occasion. It was presumably just some kind of pulled muscle caused by too much angry shouting.

It still hurts a bit today, and only remembering the sight of the aforementioned Doyley running the length of the pitch and comically skipping past just about every Barnsley player, Roy of the Rovers style seems to ease the pain.

So, would I have taken missing that classic Lloyd moment in exchange for staying at home and not having to witness such a horrible match? Well, probably not to be fair. Maybe the lads played like that on purpose. It's all part of an extremely lavish plan that culminates with Lloyd scoring his first ever goal at Wembley. I hope I live to see it? 

Season Ticket holder Lee Coan will be bringing you regular updates on life as a Hornet and following the team on the road throughout the season. To see past articles click here.

The views in this blog are not necessarily the views of Watford Football Club.

 BUY YOUR WATFORD PICS HERE

,