DESPITE it technically being three words, and it making about as much sense as bouncebackability, "squeaky bum time" is actually in the Collins (John?) English dictionary.

I've looked it up and the geeks at Collins HQ define it as: "The tense final stages of a league competition, especially from the point of view of the leaders," stating it was first coined by rosy faced Jocko Sir Alex Ferguson: "In an attempt to convey the tension experienced by those involved".

Well, never has a "bum time" been quite as squeaky as it is right now for the 'Orns. Promotion is so close you can almost smell the Old Trafford pies, but as ever following the Golden Boys there's got to be a little stressful agony along the way.

About 1,000 Hornet rumps were noisily squeaking down in Plymouth at the weekend, and frankly I don't think my bottom, let alone my hairline can take much more of this promotion run in. The away day had it all.

Blizzard storms sending my Golf skidding on the M4, a hostile crowd of west country locals, and even an old man in chaps waving a wooden stick at me as I left Home Park and got the hell out of Devon.

If that wasn't enough the stress is genuinely making my brain hurt. As every game goes by I think I'm aging six years through the tension of possibly the closest Championship season on record.

Not only was the Devon sun so blinding from the Watford end that I can still see a yellow circle when I shut my eyelids now, if I'd have had my peepers shut for the ten minutes of injury time, I could have spent it in prayer that Big Danny Shittu would nick the winner.

If he had (and he came so close you could hear their keeper's bum squeak) maybe it would have prevented the deafening pasty chomper on the Plymouth tannoy roaring "Happy Jermaine Easter" at full time. Happy Jermaine Easter? God. Let's hope Hull don't have a Neil Clement start to April next week?

Season Ticket holder Lee Coan will be bringing you regular updates on life as a Hornet and following the team on the road throughout the season. To see past articles click here.

The views in this blog are not necessarily the views of Watford Football Club.